Gourmet Cheeseburger: Remedy for Raccoon Attacks

In deciding how to format this post, I have concluded that the most tactful way to do so would be to tell a story about my day in reverse chronological order.
“Pourquoi?”, you inquire? Well, mes amis, because this post may contain the most delicious and scrumptious content I have ever posted as well as the most visually unappealing (that is for those of you repulsed by blood).
Le Pigeon is a famed French restaurant on East Burnside here in Portland. They are most famous for their “Le Pigeon” Hamburger of which they only create five of each night- a very Portland concept to make something of absolute delight a (sometimes) impossible to obtain rarity.
However, Gabriel Rucker, the chef at Le Pigeon has recently opened an enormously successful bistro in downtown Portland, appropriately named “Little Bird Bistro,” or en francais, “Le Petit Oiseau,” which serves the same hamburger except without such a stringent production limit.
Being the food snob/hamburger enthusiast/fabulous accompaniment to Hallie for her thesis on Portland food culture, we ventured downtown at noon to see if this Le Pigeon burger lives up to it’s hype.
Starter of Grand Central Bread baguette with butter & fleur de sel (sea salt)
And now finally…the main course…Hallie got hers with pomme frites, and I with the “lettuces…”
The Glory: Accompanied with French Fries double-fried in marrow butter & parsley
Check out that knife! I straight up demolished this entire beast- a more-than-gratifying mouthgasm made up of: A soft, warm, perfectly toasted canvas of Ken’s Artisan Bread ciabatta, a 1/2 pound hunk of medium-rare Cascade natural beef, pickled gigantic onions, four-year aged cheddar, an incredible crunchy slaw of iceberg lettuce, and some sort of secret sauce with dijon mustard, house-made ketchup, and aioli. You seriously need to eat this burger to even realize how juicy and flavourful and sumptious it is. The side salad was also delicious- butter lettuce tossed with some tomatoes and cheese in a creamy yet complimentary dressing.
A peek inside. Food Porn, n’est-ce-pas? Seven hours later and I am still euphoric from this meal…besides I honestly feel my sexiest devouring a messy, finger-licking cheeseburger (especially when grasping it in my cocktail ring adorned fingers while dressed in something very career-woman-esque/Chanel as I happened to be today). I am obsessed with dichotomies.
And the bill in a cute “oiseau” print glass…
… I have had my share of hamburgers in life whether gourmet, fast food, or some sort of a creative rendition of the classic sandwich, and I will say hands down that the Le Pigeon burger is the most phenomenal hamburger I have ever had the delight of consuming in my entire life. It’s no wonder this sandwich is so famous- everything from the texture, thickness, and melding of flavours is absolutely beyond delectable and certainly left Hallie and I in a very cheery mood (and elevated iron levels in my case)…
which gets me to my next point…
Now that you’ve seen the deliciousness of this post, let’s go back in time around two hours prior to lunchtime when I was the victim of an unfortunate incident…
The other knee looked like that as well… this morning as I was stepping out of my car, I was attacked viciously by two scoundrel raccoons who clawed their ways through my Wolford pantyhose to the point of sizeable blood loss…
…Fine, I’m totally screwing with you all (so don’t go thinking I may contract rabies) and just blushingly embarrassed to admit the truth that my college campus is EXTREMELY unfriendly to high-heel advocates such as myself and therefore this is the result of an unfortunate point of contact between my four-inch high Trouve heel and a cobblestone border. It’s a good thing I had a spare pair of Cole Haan flats in my purse and a beefy iron-loaded lunch to look forward to.
Plus whatevssss it totally made me look bad-ass walking around in such a business-chic ensemble then having these bloodied tears at my knees.

Little Bird Bistro on Urbanspoon

What’s the best burger you have ever had?
Have you ever had an embarrassing fall? How would you handle it? (I for one acted completely nonchalant and continued walking as if it would be ridiculous for me to notice the fact that I did indeed look like a victim of raccoon assault)

5 thoughts on “Gourmet Cheeseburger: Remedy for Raccoon Attacks

  1. I once fell into a pond. Yeah. I’m the queen of embarrassing falls. Your knee looks super painful!! But I’m sure it’ll heal soon…I hope you’ve got it washed and bound clean.

    By the way, french fries, double-fried in marrow butter & parsley?!! That sounds incredible.

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