Five Things I will Miss About Portland (And 5 I Won’t)

I’m leaving Portland.

***

Not permanently, in fact I plan on returning at my leisure in July, however for the time being I am packing up and permanently moving out of my current apartment this weekend to flee down south home to Marin County, California (if you don’t where that is, it’s the gorgeous enclave right across the Golden Gate Bridge).

Now, now don’t get mistaken, I am not MOVING back home- in fact I shall only be home for six days before departing for a three week adventure abroad to visit Nazneen (therefore you can probably vaguely guess what coordinates I will reside in two weeks from this moment.) Then, after returning from this adventure I will tighten up my career helmet and start  more aggressively pursuing the daunting process of searching for a job.

However, in light of departing Portland for the first time in SIX MONTHS, I have decided to dedicate this post to:

Five things I will miss about Portland

and

Five things I will NOT miss about Portland

Because really…I can come back whenever I want, it’s just I figured July would be the most likely scenario considering that I would like to preserve the wonderfully amicable distance-enhanced relationship I have with my parents…

Five Things I will Miss About Portland:

1. NO SALES TAX! You better believe I am shopping my heart out (or wallet rather) right now and justifying it by saying that if I was buying the same thing in California, I’d be paying another 10%.

2. Upper Crust Bread: I plan on going to the bakery today and purchasing ten loaves of my beloved Blueberry Crumble/Lemon Poppyseed/Double Chocolate cakes to take home- I’m kind of addicted to them, in fact I was out of my cakes last night and had to resort to eating medjool dates with almond butter and yogurt as a bedtime snack (that’s what happens when you’re famished and have nearly barren cabinets…)

3. Not having to pump my own petrol. Really, I know I’m from California- but why are people in California so obsessed with pumping their own petrol? It’s so much better to stay in the safety of your car where you can lock the doors and not have to worry about someone sneaking into the backseat while you’re occupied holding that damn heavy pump thing (plus it gives me severe wrist cramps.)

4. My friends…yeah the thing is I only have five actual hangout-able friends back in the Bay Area: 1 of which I went to high school with (sad, je sais), 1 who is Hallie and luckily happens to be FROM the Bay Area, and three who I met in “Summer Camp” two years ago. I wish I hadn’t been so weird and antisocial in high school…

5. The food culture: Carts, fine dining, fusion restaurants, janky ethnic jaunts, amazing happy hours at exquisite eateries…

Five Things I Will NOT Miss About Portland

1. The weather. Rain, hail, sunshine, flash flood…a detriment to my hair, outfit selection, and whatever unfortunate pair of NON water resistant Cole Haan flats I happen to be wearing…

2. The way people drive…not to dis on Oregon, but seriously, where else is the speed limit on the freeway 50mph and people STILL choose to drive 47? And what’s with the few going 50 thinking they can occupy the left lane. *Cue right lane overtake*

3. Limited shopping: Yes, I said it…there is not a single place in the state of Oregon that sells Louboutins (I searched high and low…and all I wanted was to TRY ON A PAIR to see my size and if  the too-big pair my Uncle’s wife bought for herself would fit my little Cinderella feet). Shame. Not only that, the one location of Saks Fifth Avenue was shut down (and replaced with a Saks outlet…which kind of sucks and only sells ugly offseason colours of Tory Burch flipflops that no one wants). The only ACTUAL luxury boutique here is a meek little Louis Vuitton in Pioneer Place, but they barely count considering they don’t even have clothes and the Chanel & Gucci in Nordstrom ONLY sell accessories and a limited selection of Ready-to-Wear. *Sigh*

4. Lack of employment opportunities: I am hoping to be proven wrong, very soon…

5. It was admittedly hard to come up with a fifth aspect I will not miss about this lovely city. However in the spirit of being up front, I suppose the disproportionate ratio of creepers to uncreepy people would be something as well as the inconvenient fact that you have to go to a stringently-houred liquor store to pick up some Goose for your Martinis and Cosmos soiree.

I love you, Portland, but boy am I ready to break the bubble for a bit and go remember what it was like to be in the real world (which is pretty funny to say considering I’m from Marin County).

I need some book recommendations, care to provide me with any?

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3 thoughts on “Five Things I will Miss About Portland (And 5 I Won’t)

  1. haha thats one thing i really loved about the dirty new jersey when i went to school there was the fact that someone else pumped your gas! stupid new york and their gas pumping selves

  2. Wait, whaaat? I’m from the UK, and if someone tried to pump our petrol for us we’d be like, ‘what, who are you?’. It’s never even OCCURRED to me that you could just sit in your car and have someone do it for you! Isn’t it super-awkward? haha.

    Have an amazing time in Cali/Nazneen!

  3. I’m going to be visiting Portland this summer, as part of a multi-stop trip along the west coast, any “don’t miss” attractions you’d recommend for someone that will only be in town for 48 hours?

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