Ah the joys of Sunday brunch; a gathering and replenishment drastically enhanced by the illumination of the rare occurrence that is a sunny 85 degree day
David, Anne, and I have started a Sunday brunch tradition as of this past Sunday; a weekly gathering to catch up, trade antidotes from the prior week, and begin our weekend recovery with some high quality nourishment
This past Sunday I was not feeling too fabulous nor glamorous
My eyes blinked open at 7:08 am to the inevitable sunshine, a severely parched throat, and a frantic search for the nearest fan– then of course was the fact that I had fallen asleep in my Twenty8Twelve pleated skirt (the pleats have now been readjusted) and forgot to wipe off my kohl. After two bottles of coconut water, some home-brewed Stumptown, and a very prolonged bubble bath/face wash sesh I threw on a margarine-coloured Fornarina frock and my sunnies and headed out to NW Vaughn to Meriwether’s
What you talk about pre-ordering:
- What to order. Who should order what. Participate in persuading someone that they should order the coconut fried chicken because goodness knows you’re curious but cannot fathom an entire plate full of chicken and waffles at this hour
- Justify your need to double fist with coffee and a sugarcube soaked in Prosecco. Or if you’re me, get a tall glass of ice water and save the $9 that you already spent 8 or 9 hours prior
- Comment on how hot it is. Make comments about one another’s skin tones. Complain that it’s too hot.
- Complement each other’s sundresses
What you talk about after ordering:
- One by one recount stories from the prior night- make sure to include vivid imagery in the form of describing outfits worn, methods of transportation utilised, beverages consumed, and interactions with acquaintances. Pause sporadically to roll your eyes, give heavy sighs, and discuss emotional responses to particular situations. Make observations throughout and ensure that you include superfluous details- par example: Then I felt awkward when I was in the ladies room washing my hands/fixing my eyeliner and two inebriated chicks in Forever 21 bandage dresses were having a very very intense conversation about a not-present third chick and/or their (desired) subjects of affection. OR they cut the cucumbers into circles! You don’t do that with dippables!
- Make sure to pose a thought provoking concluding question and/or epiphany at the end of your story
- Someone (most likely David) will contradict your epiphany and make you spend the remainder of brunch pondering out loud the meaning of life.
- Ask about one another’s close associates- for Anne that would be her omies (the homies she does Yoga with), for me that would be my sister/Naz/Yurop.
- Mention how famished you are and bond over how none of you have anything besides posh condiments/charcuteries in your refrigerator
- Pause to stare at the table next to you getting their food
- Commence a period of silence:
(Proceed to do a plate rotation enunciated by sighs of satisfaction and commentary regarding the complex textures and flavours involved)
Stuff to talk about while eating:
- Decide that this weekly outing is indeed a very, very, very good idea and proceed to have Anne get out her iPhone and book a reservation for Sunday brunch at Beast in three weeks.
- Discuss the latest highlights on Eater PDX. Proceed to talk about the ventures of Andy Ricker/Naomi Pomeroy/Vitaly Paley as if you actually know them.
- Tweet about the experience. Mention that you’re tweeting some clever line about over-easy eggs. Describe a particularly bizarre Twitter interaction/trend from the past week. Say something superfluous again…such as how TamaleBoyPDX started following you
Stuff to talk about after the food is gone (and once your mind has been fed enough to engage in a more intellectual breed of conversation):
- Raise a business idea/aspiration; mutually discuss ways to materialise said aspiration; namedrop connections; decide to collaborate; feel inspired
- Reflect on the past year- a year post college graduation and each other’s inner accomplishments- reminisce about the maturities acquired in one another. Get very deep and analytical and compliment one another’s heightened degrees of morality
- Notice a famous bartender two tables over. Inform the other two parties as Anne unsubtly gets up, twists her head and squints her eyes to ultimately not recognise aforementioned bartender
- Ask one another where they parked. Then decide to go lay in a park for the next few hours and tan your eyelids.