Sh%t Food Bloggers Do.

Last month, I (internally) celebrated the four year anniversary of Salt Water Coffee. FOUR YEARS. While the earlier posts tended to range from Fashion Week recaps to videos of me in my closet talking nonsense and picking my split ends to spaghetti squash recipes; I did manage to eventually find a niche and not stray too far from it. The past three years, Portland’s Food Blogger community has become significantly more prominent with its own Facebook group and countless dinners/cocktail parties/tastings hosted by local PR firms and restaurants/bars/artisans in the industry. In the past couple of years over the course of the 100+ events I’ve attended, I’ve collected a list of tidbits that signify Food Blogger Culture. Enjoy.

Blogger Lunch at Ringside Fish House
Blogger Lunch at Ringside Fish House

It is not rude to be on your phone 95% of the time; in fact it would be rude to not touch your phone because then how the hell would you be tweeting/instagramming/taking notes about how that duck was prepared or what sort of barrels that wine was aged in?

Favoriting tweets and liking pics from someone sitting right next to you that you’ve never spoken to before is so not awkward. 

You only know people by their Instagram or Twitter handle. But you know all about their opinion of Bon Appetit Magazine’s picks for Portland’s Best Restaurants or what they ate for lunch yesterday and the day before that…and the day before that…

“I can’t, I have an event.”- When your friends ask you if you want to go to Happy Hour.

You’re collectively confused when an event doesn’t have a designated hashtag, so you end up collectively creating one.

If you’re dining in a dimly lit environment, you show solidarity to other bloggers by shining your iphone flashlight/holding a candle near whatever they’re trying to photograph so that they can get a decent shot.

Nobody EVER starts eating until everyone has gotten a picture. 

Awkward silences are no longer awkward because you could just go instagram or tweet to occupy the time.

You can always bring up a controversy from Eater or Twitter to have something to talk about with other bloggers.

Chefs, notable bartenders, food writers for magazines/newspapers and PR Firm owners are your version of celebrities.

Exchanging phone numbers never seems necessary when you can just make plans on Twitter or Instagram. 

But then you will exchange numbers during Feast Portland because you’d rather keep it private when you’re giving one another the pros and cons of the opposing afterparties you’re at and which one you should attempt to venture to. 

Of course you care about what bay those oysters came from.

If you didn’t Instagram it, then you never ate it. 

You’ve developed an algorithm for how to choose your +1’s to events.

Not getting an invite to a brunch/holiday party/tasting/media preview that other bloggers you know did makes you feel like that kid that did’t get picked on the kickball team.

You’re probably married or engaged or living with your boyfriend and spend your excess income on Pop-up dinners, artisanal salts, a DSLR, and kitchen remodels. 

You have the utmost respect for PR Firms that make sure there is impeccable lighting at the events they invite you to and pre-send you all necessary guestlists, hashtags, social media accounts and menus to expect. 

Being retweeted by Carrie Welch, Mike Thelin or Gregory Gourdet is just like REALLY REALLY COOL. 

Feast Portland is the most turning up you will do in a given year. 

Your phone battery dying or your iPhone storage becoming full at the wrong time is an actual catastrophe. 

Anything to add? Let me know!

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